Monday, June 29, 2015

The Best (and Worst) Fairy-Type Pokemon

Okay, Fairy is officially my most hated type. I don't really like it on a concept level, and while I appreciate how it was used to give boring Normal-types something different, it also seemed to be assigned to the worst of them all. And in fact, it's hard to think of many good ones. So here's a top 5, but I'm already reaching by the time we hit the cinco.

5. Whimsicott
4. Jigglypuff
3. Mega Audino
2. Mega Mawile
1. Gardevoir


On the other hand, it's very easy to think of hateable ones! These Pokemon suck majorly! I don't like them at all! I think I've made myself abundantly clear!

10. Carbink
9. Togetic
8. Cleffa
7. Clefable
6. Snubbul
5. Dedenne
4. Igglybuff
3. Mime Jr.
2. Azurill
1. Klefki

Saturday, June 27, 2015

The Best (and Worst) Bug-Types

I love Bug-types. I think it's something about how bug-catching is the closest to real-life Pokemon collecting you can get, or maybe just that bugs have badass plates and jaws and horns and spikes and stuff. This was a pleasure to look through, and honestly I feel like numbers 2 through 7 could really go in any order, I love 'em all so much.

10. Genesect
9. Shedinja
8. Mega Beedrill
7. Joltik
6. Scizor
5. Scolipede
4. Pinsir
3. Scyther
2. Galvantula
1. Heracross

But by some cruel trick of fate, there are also a large number of stupid, pointless and ugly Bug-types. Kind of like real life, I suppose. But it seems like I'm generally hot or cold on these guys, either I think they're pretty great, or I can't reach for my flyswatter fast enough. Special points for the bottom three for just being the single WORST evolutionary line ever, not a single redeeming feature about any of its members.

10. Mega Pinsir
9. Scatterbug
8. Crustle
7. Nincada
6. Cascoon
5. Dustox
4. Illumise
3. Burmy
2. Mothim
1. Wormadam

Thursday, June 25, 2015

The Best (and Worst) Dragon-Types

Dragon is such a weird type. It doesn't have any obvious elemental connections, and exists mainly as a mechanic to make some Pokemon "better" than others. This is especially obvious in the first few gens, where it was almost exclusively the purveyance of the psuedo-legendaries.

10. Gabite
9. Altaria
8. Tyrantrum
7. Zekrom
6. Giratina
5. Dratini
4. Gible
3. Haxorus
2. Dragonair
1. Rayquaza


But really, it turns out I don't like Dragon-types that much. Maybe it's because the games treat them like they're hot shit, but really a lot of them are just over-designed actual shits. Oh, and no, I will NOT apologize for hating Mega Ampharos. It's really really really stupid.

10. Mega Latias/Latios
9. Bagon
8. Shelgon
7. Mega Ampharos
6. Reshiram
5. Dragonite
4. Druddigon
3. Mega Salamence
2. Kyurem
1. Zygarde

Sunday, June 21, 2015

The Best (and Worst) Poison Types

I get to give props to my all-time favorite Pokemon today, so that's always cool! Haunter, you're my bae. Forever and always. The rest of you are cool, too, I guess.

10. Muk
9. Nidorina
8. Nidorino
7. Roserade
6. Nidoking
5. Beedrill
4. Mega Beedrill
3. Gengar
2. Scolipede
1. Haunter

I'd forgotten how aggressively ugly some of these Pokemon were. Poison, as a type, tends towards the ugly, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. The bottom two in particular are just such a mess, I don't even know.

10. Skrelp
9. Skuntank
8. Gloom
7. Dustox
6. Tentacool
5. Trubbish
4. Seviper
3. Gulpin
2. Drapion
1. Garbodor

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

The Best (and Worst) Ice-Types

It's hotter and sweatier than Elvis Presley's armpit where I live, so what better way to cool down than with some chill Ice-Types? I notice that this top 10 is bookended with Pokemon I accuse of looking like those infamous Little Ponies, and I'm not entirely sure I like what that says about me.

10. Lapras
9. Cloyster
8. Mega Abomasnow
7. Walrein
6. Snowver
5. Glalie
4. Weavile
3. Sneasel
2. Abomasnow
1. Aurorus

There aren't that many Ice Types to begin with, and so these are literally all of the "bad" ones. Kyurem is really, really freaking bad, though. Like amazingly awful. Stupendously sucky. Wonderfully whack. But I digress...

10. Delibird
9. Cryogonal
8. Mamoswine
7. Beartic
6. Spheal
5. Mega Glalie
4. Snorunt
3. Jynx
2. Smoochum
1. Kyurem

Saturday, June 13, 2015

The Best (and Worst) Flying-Types

NAPACE has been accused of a strong anti-avian bias, and I'm here to say that those rumors are 99% true. There are a few birds I approve of, but most of my favorite Flying-types are the non-feathered variety.

10. Xatu
9. Gligar
8. Vespiqueen
7. Hawlucha
6. Talonflame
5. Gyarados
4. Tropius
3. Rayquaza
2. Braviary
1. Scyther

You know, in a way I'm grateful for all these shitty Normal/Flying types. They're almost always terrible, and give me an excuse to really lay into them. And angry writing is fun writing. So I guess I'll say this - Thank you, Staravia. Thank you for existing, so that I might hate you.

Oh, and like with the Normal-types, I just used one from each evolutionary line, or else the list would just be basic bitch birds. Gotta have room for the other whackjobs to get their shellacking, too.

10. Mega Pinsir
9. Pidgey
8. Mega Salamence
7. Swellow
6. Sigilyph
5. Togetic
4. Mothim
3. Mega Aerodactyl
2. Tranquil
1. Staravia

Friday, June 12, 2015

The Best (and Worst) Ground-Types

As I did this blog, I discovered that I actually rather liked Ground-types. I've never counted them among my favorites before, but dang there are quite a few really great ones. They're like Rock-types, except better.

10. Gible
9. Trapinch
8. Sandslash
7. Hippowdon
6. Steelix
5. Quagsire
4. Diglett
3. Nidoking
2. Torterra
1. Donphan


But, they also crap out some shits once in a while. Most of them fall into the "ugly and pathetic blob" category. Special shoutouts to Rhyperior, Barboach, Whiscash, Palpitoad, and Stunfisk for appearing in multiple bottom 10s. Thankfully, as triple-types haven't been invented (yet) that's the last we'll be seeing of them.

10. Landorus
9. Mamoswine
8. Vibrava
7. Nincada
6. Stunfisk
5. Palpitoad
4. Whiscash
3. Barboach
2. Rhyperior
1. Zygarde

Thursday, June 4, 2015

The Best (and Worst) Fighting-Types

Next to loving, I like fighting best. and next to Bug-Type, I like Fighting-Type best.

So it should come as no surprise to see all these beloved favorites. Which show I think an interesting mix between face-melting badasses, and cool-but-cute 1st stage dudes. And I especially love it when, in the case of Machop, the latter grows up into the former.

10. Mankey
9. Pancham
8. Lucario
7. Pangoro
6. Timburr
5. Machop
4. Blaziken
3. Hitmonlee
2. Heracross
1. Machamp

Such was not the case for poor Conkeldurr, who is basically looking back at his elementary school yearbook and thinking "what happened. I used to be such a cutie... where did it all go wrong...?"

But surprisingly, not a single 1/10 to be seen here. Still enough baddies to fill out the list, though. But most of them could totally work, with a few design tweaks.

10. Mienshao
9. Meditite
8. Gallade
7. Keldeo
6. Scraggy
5. Gurrdurr
4. Mega Heracross
3. Pignite
2. Chesnaught
1. Conkeldurr